Monologue - Paris Hilton

Hey, I'm totally Paris Hilton! Yay me! So anyway, let's talk about me. Like I was saying, yesterday I was going to get my hair done, when SUDDENLY I realized the sky was blue! Like all my life I thought the sky was just some joke, but then, like, it wasn't! Did you know the sky was blue? (spacey) Actually it's aqua almost, like an amazing ocean in the sky. Like for real! So after I made this amazing discovery, I got my hair highlighted and straightened. Like how it looks? But yeah, I don't know how your going to take this, but I have something really important to tell you....(awkward pause) I'm not a girl, I've been a guy since I was born. That's hot, right?